Problems that the old have!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

Never ever Lie to a Woman

A man called home to his wife and said, 'Darling , I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends.

We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up' 'Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas.'

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, 'Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?'
You'll love the answer,folks......

The wife replied, 'I did, dear. They're in your fishing box! ...'

It's a Dog's Life!

Great Advice from a Dog's Perspective!

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience!


Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

"Can't we talk about this tomorrow? I'm really tired...Zzzz!"

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout;
run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

PM says Msia can weather Global Economic Storm - malaysiakini reader

Malaysia not slipping into recession, can weather global economic storm: PM Abdullah on Singapore announcement of anti-recession measures.

STAR 12.09pm